Finally, this vile form of discrimination is going to be exposed!
Millions, nay, billions of people have been enduring this for centuries in silence. Such an ugly, unspeakable form of discrimination that people haven’t been speaking about it–until now, that is! Mothers and fathers, you may want to send the children out of the room. To the ultra “PC” persons or squeamish, just click the red “X” in the upper right corner. Yes, I’m going to say it out in the open–we’re talkin’ about…ALPHABETism!!
(Spoiler alert–reading down through the end of this blog might result in you saving 100′s of dollars during your next trip to Captain Blue Hen Comics and/or winning a major award)
Of all the isms out there, ALPHABETISM affects half of the world’s population every minute of every day. If you are one of the Williams or Youngs or someone whose name starts out “Zgl” (Mike, I can’t spell your name–there has to be more than one vowel in a four-syllabled name besides the “i” at the end!), then you are well aware of the untold time you have lost during events, celebrations, roll calls, etc., while they take care of the pampered Andersons, Bakers, and their ilk! You’ll never get it back! You applauded politely as they were first up to get their diploma, prize, or whatever, but once they got it, did they care about you? Or did they focus on what they had in hand already. I think we know the answer to that. Couldn’t it once be that we start with the END of the alphabet?
This slavery to the alphabet has created a sense of entitlement–a current buzz word–for people, who through no effort of their own, feel that they should go first. Captain Blue Hen Comics is doing its part in trying to combat this practice. Yes, we do pull new books for our members in an alphabetical order, BUT, if we are ever shorted, we do one of those things–either no one gets them until we get the rest of the shipment, or we do not put them in the bins of the people who only stop by infrequently–regardless of where their last name falls in the alphabet! However, once those doors open on Wednesday morning, it’s strictly “first come, first served.” As I said, we’re doing our part–are you?
I know that some of you (especially the “chosen ones”) are thinking that this is a bunch of hogwash–that even though it is undeniably true that those at the beginning of the alphabet do get to go first usually, they have not formed a feeling of entitlement. You need proof? I’ve got proof, the most powerful type of proof–I’ve got NUMBERS!
Every Monday, I go through the list of people who have comics coming in and create special tags for those who are receiving special orders such as toys, t-shirts, statues, etc. In addition, we need to create a separate tag for a comic book we had to reorder for someone. These are then pulled separately, put in a bag and a call needs to be made to inform the person that the book has arrived–extra, avoidable work. For a quick review, the comic publishers give everyone a two month notice of what is on the horizon. If everyone did their homework, no one would miss out on the next “hot” issue. Last week, as I was creating these tags for the people who missed out on the first issues of the new DC relaunch (did that sneak up on anyone?) and were now getting a second printing, I saw a familiar pattern. My tags were mostly for people who last name started with a letter in the beginning of the alphabet. 26 different people had requested a second printing that was due that week and 17 of those fell in the A to M range. This significant difference indicates a mind set of entitlement – that others will take care of me – and is obviously more prevalent among AMers. I’m wondering if this conditioning over the years has also created a group of more “boy scouts” (prepared, loyal, service-minded) amoung the NZers? As it turns out, the extra work involved in taking care of the people who weren’t as organized and prepared as their counterparts fell upon the staff of CBH Comics- there’s Mike Z, Paul S, Dave W, Kita R, and Joe MU (kinda on the cusp – could go either way – not that there’s anything wrong with that!).
There! It’s now out in the open. We all knew down deep that it existed, but no one wanted to speak up; and as a famous philosopher once said, “and that’s all I have to say about that.”
Actually, that reminds me of a past situation where the government decided to NOT use the alphabet. In this situation, it was only “fair” to use a lottery system. I’m talking about the 1969 Viet Nam draft lottery. They did away with student deferments and instead of going by one’s last name, it was decided that they would draw birth dates and young men would be drafted in the order in which their birthday was drawn. Did you read that spoiler alert above? Well, here’s one of those special opportunities for our blog readers only: solve two puzzles and you may buy any green-tagged comics in the shop at 50% off. This offer is good from Thursday, 10/13 through Thursday, 10/20. You have to find the answer to two questions: What was Paul’s draft number (hint – he did not get called as it was a relatively high three digit number, a clue to it is in a previous blog). Secondly, what fruit has its seeds on the outside?. Come prepared with the answers to these two questions during that time, and you may buy as many of the green-tagged comics as you wish – half price! Sorry, no lay-a-ways! And, agai, this is a special for our blog readers only! To qualify and get the discount, you must state the answer (something like “377 tomatoes”)as you are purchasing those back issues – we will not bring it up at the counter.
You know how I love contests, puzzles and what not. Remember last year’s MENSA Hero Bracket Challenge? They are having another bracket challenge this year–this time it will also be a 64 member field and the eventual winner will be the best invention. Are ya thinking about what you would include? I doubt that you would come up with some of their nominations immediately. Like last year, we will “borrow” this contest, and ask you to try and figure out how the members of MENSA will vote. Your job is going to be tougher than the members of MENSA since you are being asked to fill out the entire bracket in advance (Mensans vote weekly for a round after seeing the results from the previous week’s tally). MENSA has seeded the inventions among 4 different regions/categories. Try to come up with a list before you see theirs. The 4 “regions” are: Electronics, Utilities, Personal, & Civilization. I’ll reveal the list of inventions and more info next week. MENSA’s rationale for each choice will be available at the shop for you to read, as well as entry forms. Last year, Rob Madonna won our contest and walked away with the major award. Can he do it again? Yours truly was quite disappointed in the final vote going to MENSA’s homey, Einstein. More heroic than Superman?! Remember, you have to figure out What Would Mensa Do? Note: MENSA saw our blog about our contest last year, approved of it, and sent some swag – pamphlets, bookmarks, etc. We have some left for the taking.
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