Twenty-one months of campaigning and finally the United States has a new President-elect. That’s just one country, folks! The REALLY important voting takes place on Wednesday, November 12 and Captain Blue Hen Comics is the only polling place to elect The President and Vice-President of the Multiverse. Anybody can rule a few hundred million people, but who has the stones to set policy for untold billions in an infinity of realities?
More importantly, do you have the huevos to decide who that person will be?
It’s time to meet the candidates…
The Vigilance Party candidate is Gotham City’s Golden Boy, Bruce Wayne. Running on an anti-crime platform, Wayne believes knowledge is power and the best weapon is one you never have to fire. He believes the Patriot Act doesn’t go far enough and his well-nigh omniscient Brother Eye Act will keep our friends close (in case you ever have to take ‘em out) and our enemies closer. As one of the independently wealthiest men in the world, Wayne has declined public financing. He points to his extensive philanthropy and executive experience running a large, multinational corporation.
Wayne’s running mate for vice-president is Michael Holt, dubbed by many in the press as “Mr. Terrific.” Holt is a noted scholar, believed to be the world’s third smartest man and a former Olympic athlete. While very articulate and informed, Holt shuns the spotlight and is near impossible to catch on film. At the first V.P. debate, those in the audience said Holt won the debate hands down, while those watching at home saw his opponent debating a seemingly empty podium.
Once again, the Futurist Party seems to be the only other game in town to offer a real challenge. Currently the two parties are stalemated in the legislature and the Futurists see themselves as the party to break the logjam and move the Multiverse forward. “Tomorrow’s too long to wait–I believe in the Day After,” is the slogan of Futurist candidate Anthony Stark.
A shrewd businessman and billionaire many times over, Stark’s fortune has known its share of ups and downs. Running on the issue of Homeland Security, Stark believes that Registration is the way of the future. “Mutant, meta, gay, straight, immigrant, nerd, slacker, yuppie, it’s all welcome in my multiverse, but you’d better be on file for what you are or we’re coming to get you.” A confirmed bachelor but known womanizer, Stark is rarely seen without (but never actually with) his armored bodyguard, Iron Man. “To fund some of my programs I’ll be providing my own security so there will be some Secret Service layoffs.”
Well-rounding out Stark’s ticket is Carol Danvers, a former P.O.W., NASA security officer, CIA agent and writer for the “now” defunct “Now” magazine. Referred to as “Ms. Marvel” by her party, Danvers was a minor player in her party until recently and now appears to be a prominent figure and cover girl.
That’s the candidates from the Big Two. Don’t forget to vote on Wednesday, November 12 at Captain Blue Hen Comics. Exercise your franchise and you’ll be entered to win a $20.08 CBH gift certificate.
And while it’s effectively a two party system, there’s quite a field of fringe candidates this year. Look for more info on them coming soon.
Until then, let’s hear your thoughts, pro and con, for our candidates. Comment and get the discussion rolling!