April 19th, 2008 | joe | Store News
It’s time again for another collector showcase. This month we’re featuring Tony Stark in all his armored glory. That there happens to be an Iron Man movie opening on May 2 is strictly a coincidence. Really. Imagine our surprise. So without further ado here’s the bio of the man behind the metal, our collector of the month…
The Improbable Iron Spaz
The man know as Iron Spaz wishes he too were an invention of the fertile imagination of writer David Michelinie, then Spaz’s rampant alcoholism and obsession with Tony Stark would be a great launching point for entertaining stories instead of desperate cries for an intervention.
At a very young age, Spaz decided his two lifelong dreams - being a millionaire and wearing a bucket on his head at all times – were not mutually exclusive. Sadly, while Spaz has been tremendously successful with the latter, he’s oblivious that it’s really not helpful in attaining the former.
In an effect to emulate his hero, Tony Stark, Spaz threw his energies into becoming a burgeoning inventor. Regrettably his greatest innovations have not been embraced by the world at large. Some highlights include:
Gutbuster Armor – designed specifically to accommodate Sonic’s Super Sized Colossal Cholesterol Orgy Meal with batter dipped bacon fries. Only three prototypes for William Shatner, Oprah Winfrey, and Bill Clinton were made.
Shucks and Awww! Armor – designed to shock and awe an opponent it completely missed the mark by instead making the wearer look like an adorable Shirley Temple robot with red rosy cheeks and golden curls.
Dustbuster Armor – developed to battle threats in heretofore inaccessible nooks and crannies it was scuttled by a lawsuit from Black & Decker
The Repulse-Her-Ray – Which has worked beyond expectations As Iron Spaz gets even less action then expected for a guy who wears a loud shirt and spends most evenings polishing his helmet.
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Every month Captain Blue Hen gives another CBH collector an opportunity to show off their pride and joy of inanimate objects. If you’ve got a collection and you’re interested in hanging it out for all the world to see contact Joe or Kita.
Oh and just because the Iron Man movie will be out is no excuse to miss Free Comic Book Day on Saturday, May 3.
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