New collection on display- Hirsute homo superior with cutlery and anger management issues in repose
Wolverine Rich’s fascination with his Canadian mutant namesake began early in his adolescence as a result of two life-altering observations- First, at age 9 he discovered his boo-boos got better even when his Mommy didn’t kiss them; and Second, by age 11 he had to shave twice a day (and once during the night). Reaching the only obvious conclusion—he must have a mutant healing power and be part feral beast—Rich set out to emulate the career of his hirsute hero, Wolverine.
Wolverine Rich took the vast fortune he’d amassed as a child selling Olympic greeting cards, American seeds and Grit, and used it to undergo radical experimental surgery to graft adamantium to his bones. Unfortunately the scientist in charge, Dr. Nick Riviera, mis-translated the word “adamantium” for “felt cloth” in his native Badhnisian tongue. The procedure was, at best, a dubious success.
Undaunted, Wolverine Rich, headed to the Asian Seaport of Madripor to establish himself as a club owner and problem solver for the underworld. Once again poor translating skills dealt him a setback when he tried to pass himself off as “Patch Adams.” The local populace, realizing the only person hairier than Logan was Robin Williams, kicked Wolverine Rich’s ass.
For reasons not yet adequately explained, every year on his birthday, Wolverine Rich is ferociously attacked by his long-time nemesis (who may-or-may-not-be-related to him), a pink-furred feral assassin with heightened senses and a lisp named Snagglepuss. Every year is a draw when just as Wolverine Rich is about to deliver the killing blow something distracts him thus enabling his foe to exit stage left.
In his downtime, Wolverine Rich enjoys Sunday brunch with mimosas, My Little Pony tattoos, acoustic bagpipe covers of Led Zepplin tunes, long walks in the parking lot, and seeking revenge on his biographer.
Coming in April- Spaz’s in a can- The Iron Man collection
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